December 12, 2017
Pain comes with acceptance. I’ve spent years denying the pain of being ignored during the holiday season. That was how I survived most of the past twelve years. I can count on one hand, the exceptions. With the absence of family and old friends, I shoved down the feeling that screamed out to me-loser. Instead, I put my focus on others and denied my surging pain.
A couple of days after this past Thanksgiving, I came to the full realization what I was doing. My rose-color glasses smashed, and the pain is still seeping out of me daily. I decided to stop surviving. I had to honor something within me that I’ve been ignoring. I hurt. I feel betrayed. I hate the holiday season. The later was the most prominent confession. For one who used to be contagious with cheer around the holidays, now all I felt was resentment. What happened to me? Why did the world throw me out to the curb?
The answer. The world never threw me out to the curb. I did. I have forsaken my value and forgot I could change this. I do believe before this, I couldn’t. My heart suffered so that I couldn’t open it to others. Slowly this has been changing over the past four years. This year the shattering of my rose-color glasses permitted me to see clearly. I stopped surviving and embraced the love of those who are a part of my life. This love I can build a universe.
The pain finally has an exit spot. I let myself cry daily. As I cry, I speak the verse my Spirit Guides gave me in Spirit Therapy. I Am Love. I Am Love, which aided My attitude to shift, as I feel love enter every cell of my body. Divine loves each of us and gave each us a talent to use to build our heaven here on earth. Feel the pain, and chant I Am Love and experience the sensation of love moving through you.
Thank you for reading my blogs. I do hope they act as an inspiration for you. You might find my You Tube channel helpful. Thank you again, Jaz.