December 13, 2017
Today I’m stationary. These past twelve days I crashed. I stepped backward, into my own retrograde. I sat and watched the old tapes of my life play out in my head, as well as out in the streets. Speechless. I sat or stood watching my pain passing by, screaming recognize me. Damn it, Jasmine, give me a name! Stop pushing me aside or buried within you, as you move through your day doing your survival dance. Stop it, Jasmine! Claim me, embrace me and Love me.
I did claim them, embrace and love them. I let the ongoing weeping continue as each came towards me to be recognized. I accepted their/my pain, their/my hurt and the frigid fingers of fear because we were left behind. Standing in my home, with my mission statement to stop surviving and start creating my life, I reached out to each wound and kissed it. We wept together for feeling rejected. I spoke of my plan and watched as each crumbled emotions shift their focus. My body moved from being hunched over, to erect. I caught myself in the mirror, as I walked passed it, shoulders straight and spine straight. I haven’t seen this posture in years. My rejected emotions were getting nourished with love and respect. There is a natural smile on my face, which replaced the fake smile. Faking it, became my leading force in my life. I stopped being what I chose to reveal, the happy and positive person, while shoving down these emotions of rejection, hurt, sorrow, pain, abandonment, isolation, and loneliness.
My retrograde period has ended, and I am now stationary.
Today, I am scheduled to do my video on my YouTube channel. On the video, one might hear the weakness of my voice and perhaps a bit of cracking. My eyes might be misty from time to time. I will speak of stopping the merry-go-round of surviving and move to the creating. I have a purpose, and I’m walking my mission, yet weakness is still lingering. My mind, body, and spirit are positions in the stationary movement. We are getting over the catastrophe that led to our epiphany. It took all our energy to embrace our pain, and to come out the other side of this emotion. Love. Love and using the art of creating a better reality is now beating in our heart. Before we can do anything, we need to stay in this stationary spot. It is still a time of release and finding our balance, before we can move forward, or approach the direct movement. This type of movement is similar to our planets.. As a planet, we too go through these cycles. They can’t be pushed to go faster. Embracing the ride’s schedule is a solution.
Thank you for reading my blog. Please feel free to respond. If you wish further information please visit this link My Youtube channel